Life Learning

Today marks Day 6 at home, following our three year-old’s foot injury, and it is safe to say that we have developed a serious case of cabin fever. The past week has been filled with lots of screen time and little to no time outdoors. Fortunately, Miss 3 woke up this morning feeling markedly better, and has even been walking on the injured foot a bit, so we are getting our layers on in preparation of going outside and moving our bodies!

While I’m taking a moment to write this, all three kids have developed a game, in which Miss 8 is the Grandma, and when her grandkids visit, she gives them money. 😄 They have made bills of various denominations, and they are using coins as well.

Wait, scratch that, now it’s a store…..selling money.

They are writing numbers, counting money, calculating change, deciding on what their items should cost, etc. They are practicing the scripts we use when interacting with others at retail settings and markets.

Ooh, and now we’re just experimenting with writing super large numbers.

This is what homeschooling looks like for us. I often use the term, “unschoolers” to describe us, as we do not utilize a formal curriculum and learning happens naturally, through following our curiosity, interests, questions, and ideas. It doesn’t look like school because it’s not. It’s life.

And now, if you’ll excuse me, the outdoors are calling. 🌲✨❤️

Self Care and Homeschooling

I am, admittedly, my own worst enemy when it comes to self care. I *know* what I need to do to take the best possible care of myself/ physically, emotionally, mentally- and yet, I don’t always do those things.

Why?

It’s just so easy not to.

There is the “to do” list of “shoulds” always staring me in the face. And often at night, I’m just plain tired. But I also know that when I am not regularly caring for my needs, I eventually hit a limit at which I become a grumpy, tired, emotional mess.

SO, how can we do this? When we are with our children literally 24/7, how do we ensure that we are taking good care of ourselves while also meeting everyone else’s needs?

I think the first step is to take time to figure out what actually fills your cup- what actions and activities are rejuvenating and life-giving for *you*. Because what helps me might help you, but it also might not. What your friend loves, you may hate. And that’s ok. We’re all individuals, and we all connect with different things. So, take some time to notice. Maybe brainstorm a bit:

What brings me joy?

What energizes me?

What brings a smile to my face?

What makes me feel alive?

I’ve also noticed that somehow, self care has become synonymous with being out of your home and away from your kids, but that definitely does not have to be the case. In fact, I think it’s great for our kids to see us engaging in activities that we enjoy and fill us up. It shows them that we value ourselves, that we know ourselves, and that we view caring for ourselves as an important responsibility. In addition, they can learn ways of caring for themselves too.

Some of my own proven ways to fill my cup with my children present and/or participating are:

• Music. I begin every day with music and coffee in my kitchen and often have music playing throughout the day. It’s subtle, but if it’s the right genre (which I also often shift through throughout the day), it can give me little boosts without much effort.
• Stepping outside. Whether it’s a full out hike or literally just stepping outside onto my porch for a moment, sometimes a bit of fresh air and sunshine can do wonders to turn my mood and/or mindset around.
• Be silly. Kitchen dance parties, playing dress up, silly songs, tickle fights- letting go and choosing fun, laughter, and joy.
• Creating. Baking, painting, writing can all give me a boost. Making something new and putting it into the world, even if just for myself.
• Journaling. Especially when I’m feeling stuck or overwhelmed, taking a few minutes to sit and journal it all out allows me to purge some of the negativity from my body and gain clarity.
• Inspirational quotes or poetry. Reading reminders of what I value and who I am can help me to get back on track to where I want to be.
• Gratitude practice. Taking a few minutes to write down everything I’m grateful for at that moment helps to remind me of all that I am and all that I have.
• Yoga. Even if it’s just a handful of sun salutations, there is something about flowing on my mat that calms my mind and lifts my mood.
• Shower. Wash away the negativity and fatigue, and start fresh.

All of the above are simple, easy, not overly time consuming, and can easily be fit in throughout the day.

I have also found that waking up early, before my kids, is a nice way to carve out a bit of quiet solitude before the day begins. Drinking my coffee by twinkle light, with a bit of background music in an otherwise dark and quiet house can be an almost magical way to slowly ease into the day. The Abundant Mama’s Rise & Shine program is free and a great starting point.

Again, the key point is to take the time and make the effort- something that I am prioritizing in this coming year. I want to feel my best not only for myself but also for my family.

Do you have a self care routine? What have you found to be the most helpful practices for you? Comment below so that we can share and help one another!

Reading Mr. Rogers poetry, listening to Julie Andrew’s “Favorite Things” and drawing our own favorite things at the end of the day. I drew my own too!

Dreams, goals, and other fallacies.

“Dream big!” they say.

“Anything is possible!” they proclaim.

“Be yourself!” they encourage.

Except…..they don’t actually mean it. Not really.

What they’re really saying is….

“Dream big!…..but not too big. ‘Safe’ big. Big-ish?”

“Anything is possible! Well….I mean, not anything, of course. You still have to play by the rules, obviously. We wouldn’t want to ruffle any feathers or make anyone uncomfortable, now would we?”

“Be yourself! But….not too much. Slightly unique, but please, do try to fit in. Don’t stand out or make any waves. We don’t want the neighbors to talk.”

I don’t believe that people are generally ill-intentioned. I think that most of us are genuinely doing our best with what we have and what we know. I also believe that there is a whole lot of fear and misunderstanding out there. And all too often, fear is driving the bus.

I’m also not trying to say that I’m immune to fear or the powerful grip it can have on us. I battle with fear every single day in various ways. But I don’t want my life to be ruled by fear and conformity. And I certainly don’t want that for my children.

“May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.” -Nelson Mandela

This is one of the many reasons we chose, and continue to choose, to homeschool. Outside of the institution of standardized education, my kids have the space, time, and freedom to explore and discover who they are, what makes them tick, their likes and dislikes, their physical and emotional needs. They are able to dream big and be themselves because there’s no one telling them they can’t.

Learning Outside the Box

In the educational system, skills and information are sorted and categorized into subjects, and then assigned to different age groups. But life often isn’t that neat and tidy. In reality, outside of the formal educational framework, learning isn’t either.

Take cooking for example. If using a recipe to prepare a meal, are you only drawing from one subject you learned in school? No! You are reading the recipe, using math skills to measure, often relying on chemistry principles when baking, and, you may throw in a bit of artistry with your presentation. If you are knowingly preparing something from another country or region, you are sprinkling in a bit of social studies too. This is what life learning, or unschooling, is like.

Here’s a real life example from today: last night, we finished reading the fifth and final book in the Tuesdays at the Castle series, Saturdays at Sea (which we highly recommend, by the way). Then this morning, I noticed an article in this month’s Yesteryear Gazette about Blackbeard and spotted a bag of Aldi’s version of pirate booty in the pantry. A string of brainstorming ensued, and a game quickly formed. While setting up, I read the article about Blackbeard, then we chatted briefly and decided we wanted to play the game as characters from Saturdays at Sea rather than Blackbeard and his pirates. So, we each assigned ourselves to be a character from the book series. Then, with a bowl acting as our ship, we took turns rolling a pair of dice. When we rolled numbers adding to 4 or 6, we yelled, “Land Ho!” and restocked our ship at the port (i.e., poured more pirate booty into the bowl). When the bag was empty, we enjoyed our bounty while doing a Mad Libs from this “History of the World” edition about famous explorers.

This activity incorporated a number of school subjects: we discussed aspects of the book while we played (language arts), used counting and addition with the dice (math), read about Blackbeard and famous explorers (history/social studies), practiced parts of speech (language arts via Mad Libs), and writing. The only major subject that was missing was science.

This is one way that learning happens in our home- one question or idea leads to another, which leads to another, or one activity ends up incorporating a variety of information and skills. Just like in real life, our learning isn’t always nice and neat and orderly. Because we aren’t doing school; we’re living life.

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Coming Together through Minecraft

My older two children, ages six and eight, were in a really tumultuous place earlier this year. There was a lot of tension, a lot of arguing, so many hurtful things said and done.

I had been trying, for months, to figure out how to help them in their relationship. I tried collaborative games and projects, family outings and adventures, books, art, music, discussions. Sometimes these attempts would improve things for a short time, but inevitably, one would say or do something to the other, and chaos would ensue.

Let me pause for a moment to say that I do not expect my kids to always get along. They’re together 24/7; of course there are going to be arguments and rough patches. They’re human; conflict happens. But what was happening went beyond what’s considered to be “normal” sibling conflict. I was beginning to worry for their physical and emotional wellbeing.

And then one night this summer, they discovered Roblox, and sat side-by-side, on their respective Kindle Fires, and played hide ‘n’ seek. They found each other in the game, helped each other find hiding spots, coached each other on how to get to certain places, and laughed and smiled and giggled. At one point, my son was resting his head on his big sister’s shoulder- something that happened quite often when they were younger, but that I hadn’t seen in a long time. Looking back, that evening was a bit of a turning point for them.

Since that day, they have discovered the world of Minecraft, and I have been amazed at how this game has brought them together. They explore worlds, mine and collect resources, build houses together- all the while collaborating and sharing resources. They help each other reach goals, like when my daughter wanted to find and tame wolves. And that camaraderie has extended beyond the world of Minecraft. They are playing together more, and while they do sometimes argue, it is much less intense, and the extreme, hurtful language has fallen away.

“Screen time” is a loaded term at this point in time in our society. It’s all still so new, and there is so much varying information and opinions thrown at us from all directions. It can be challenging to sift through all of that outside messaging to decipher what *our* thoughts and opinions actually are. Like many parents, I struggle at times with technology usage, and how much and of what variety are “ok”. But, I see how, at least this particular game, has been such a positive force for my kids and their relationship, and that can’t possibly be a bad thing.

Natural Learning

It can at times be challenging to pinpoint how and when my kids are acquiring a new skill or whether information they’re hearing or otherwise working with is retained. We don’t quiz them about knowledge or facts, and so, it is often in small, random moments when I gain insight into everything that is going on in their minds. This can be a bit anxiety provoking for me at times, I’ll admit. But then a question is asked, a skill used, a fact recited, and I realize that they know, and are continuously soaking up, far more than I realize. To illustrate, here are a few snapshots from our learning and living journey this past week:

One night last week, my eight year-old asked if I wanted to hear a riddle, to which I of course said, “Yes!!” I will not relay it here, as it turned out that she had composed it herself, and I do not have her permission to share it, but it was very well-written and clever. When I first heard it, I assumed she had heard it from someone else. But no, she was, in fact, the author.

Yesterday, she and her brother were showing me how they mine iron in Minecraft, and then they asked how iron is really mined, so we looked that up and watched a video. Was iron ever mined using a pickax like in Minecraft? We then spent some time researching that as well and discussing why mining practices have changed over the years.

This morning, she referenced “that lightbulb guy”, meaning Thomas Edison, who we read about last week, in conversation.

Last night, she asked when it would officially be “tomorrow”, and then went on to ask a series of questions about time. Then seemingly randomly, she started throwing out math equations for me to solve. And then questions about numbers, like, “How many zeros does a trillion have?” And then announced she was tired and went to bed.

These are just a few instances that immediately come to mind. The longer we are on this journey, the more I realize all of the ways in which children learn from the world around them. It often doesn’t look how I imagine, and my assumptions are challenged on a daily basis. But if I actively practice loosening my hold on those ideas and letting them go, what unfolds before me feels almost magical, in large part because it often is in such contrast to everything I previously believed about children, learning, and parenting.

There is a lot of downtime, a lot of adventuring outside and in the community, and a lot of wondering and thinking and experimenting. Lots of playing and making and reading. And it’s chaotic and messy and fun and beautiful.

Seasonal Shifts

I find that our bodies and routines naturally shift in time with the seasons. As the days grow darker and colder, we tend to awake a bit later and begin the day more slowly than we do on bright, summer days, when the sun beckons us to run outside and bask in its warmth. On these cloudy, cool, rainy days of autumn, we tend to seek that warmth inside our home—cozy blankets, steaming mugs of tea, comforting foods like this morning’s cinnamon French toast. We want to move slowly and not be rushed, as we move towards winter. We continue to enjoy getting outside and exploring nature, but it tends to happen a bit later in the day, after we’ve fully awoken and warmed. 🍂 .

An Exercise on Letting Go

This afternoon, one of my kids was struggling. A lot. And the other two got pulled in as well. It can feel incredibly helpless, to witness your child struggling and not know why or how to help. Once things had calmed, we ended up at a park. Remembering the pen I’d tucked away in my bag, we each found a fallen leaf, and wrote (or drew) feelings in our bodies that we wanted to let go of. Then, we waited for the next breeze, held out our leaves, and let them fly away.

We then found heart-shaped leaves and wrote down things and/or feelings that we want to keep close to our hearts. Some of us kept ours and others chose to release them out into the world.

Some moments are hard. Some days are hard. Some seasons are hard. If you’re holding onto anything that’s weighing you down, remember, you have the power to let it go.

Your one wild and precious life

Today, while same-aged peers were in classrooms, behind desks, my daughter was running and splashing in a creek. While other children were under fluorescent lights, memorizing facts, she was out in the sunshine, searching for interesting creatures and rocks. She ate when she was hungry, went to the bathroom when nature called, and rested when she was tired. She got muddy, practiced her breast stroke, explored rock formations, and watched a great blue heron glide through the water before taking flight.

This is her life. Her one wild and precious life. And she’s out there living it to the fullest, every single day.

This is my why.

Judgement and Nonconformity

I get it. We have veered off the “typical” or “conventional” path, and it may not make sense to some. I suppose I was a bit naive going in- I knew there would be some surprise, some lack of understanding, but I assumed we would be asked questions in attempts to better understand our decision. I hadn’t anticipated the blind judgement and level of criticism, nor the areas in which concern would be raised. Like prom. Really? My kids are 6, 4, and 1, and you are worried about whether they’ll have the opportunity to attend an overrated, overpriced social event in 12+ years? Or that they will grow up to be “weird”. That’s actually one of the reasons we are choosing to homeschool- to support and fuel their individuality. I sincerely hope they are “weird”, if it means they are true to themselves above societal conventions and expectations. And yes, because we are learning through living and not on anyone else’s timeline, my children are learning some things that other kids may not learn until middle school, and they may learn other things later than their same-age, school-attending peers. I’m ok with that, truly, but it seems not everyone around us is.

Recently, I’ve been asked about my six year-old’s reading ability, and she has been quizzed by a well-meaning family member on numbers. Each of these instances shake me a little, give me a bit of pause, and force me to reflect on my “why”. I also feel a bit defensive and sad, to be honest. These individuals are openly worried about what she doesn’t know and what she hasn’t yet learned, but they never ask what she *is* currently interested in or what we have been up to. They are worried about whether we are keeping up with the Jones’ (or, the Jones’ kids, I suppose), but the thing is, *we* don’t really care what the Jones’ are up to. I’m sure they’re a really nice family, and I wish them all the best, but how they choose to live life in no way has any impact on how we choose to live ours.

And I get it, that feels “out there” for some, and that’s ok. In a lot of ways, it is. But I feel like this touches on an even bigger issue in our society- the “other”, that different is “bad” rather than just simply different. So, before I continue rambling, which I’m sure I could, let me end with this simple request: when you see or meet an individual or family who is living a life different from your own, in any capacity, rather than jumping to judgement and labeling, pause. Ask yourself where those feelings of fear or negativity are coming from. And then, see if you can stretch yourself a bit. Open up your worldview by trying to learn about another way of life or opinion or belief system- whatever it is that seems so “different”. Maybe if we all did this a bit more often, the world would be a better, safer place for everyone.